Updated: Feb 29, 2020
I grew up in the presence of a mother who judged everyone by the way they dressed, the way they acted and the company they kept. Women were supposed to live their lives in a certain way or else they be talked about and ostracized. As a young adult, I came out to a gay society, that at the time, older gay men were the norm and accepted and the youth were to be admired and feasted upon for physical pleasures alaTennessee Williams. AIDS came and that changed, and the LGBT community became even more judgemental of older gays and gay culture became a circuit party culture celebrating the steroid enhanced body beautiful and straight acting. Older gay gentleman are now called senior gays.
I became a a hairdresser where I I continued to hear how women had plastic surgery and dressed "inappropriately." Needless to say, I come from a youth obsessed society.
"I've been forty. I've been fifty. Forty's better. I've been fifty. I've been sixty. Fifty is better." Cher.
"If something is bagging, sagging or dragging, I'll tuck it, suck it or pluck it." Dolly Parton
“I think that a big part of the show is what Hollywood does to women, as they age, which is just a microcosm of what happens to women generally as they age, whether you want to say they become invisible or undesirable or unattractive. What happens when that beauty is no longer considered viable because it’s equated with youth?” Jessica Lange
"Aging is not for sissies!" Bette Davis
"Only the young are sexually attractive." Being sexy later in life is undignified.
It's not ok for an older woman to date a younger man in today's world. Loretta Lynn kissed Jack White on his lips in the "Portland, Oregon" video and the reaction was "She's old enough to be his gandma!" and "That's so gross!" Yet, people certainly find it sexy for a younger model to be kissed on the lips by a hot older actor like Sean Connery.
What if a older woman has a sex drive? What happens if someone floats her boat who could be the same age as her kids. Is it a double standard for a man to do the same thing? Is that ok? I remember one of my friends broke up his relationship with an older woman when the woman's daughter who was the same age as my friend called my friend "Daddy" because he didn't want other people thinking he was taking advantage of the situation.
Other questions like how should an older woman dress? Trendy? Comfortable? Should she hide her body? Can she wear a leather skirt? Can she wear jeans?
I am quite sure that most's body shape, size and image are a reflection of their life from childhood, to young adulthood and middle age. So what happens when a divorce or a death of a loved one happens and they began a transformation?
And a very important question is how old is too old to start life over again?
I had no idea the gift that my muse would bring to me personally on a boudoir shot we did together. While shopping at Trashy Diva, Kathryn came out of the dressing room and I watched the sales attendant's reaction which validated what I already felt-this woman has a hot body and was very beautiful.
One thing I know for sure is that like everything else in life. we are always waiting for tomorrow, but we will never be as fabulous as we are in this present moment.
Thank you Kathryn for a lovely week in New Orleans.